Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
