I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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