I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
