Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
