their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
