Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize