he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
