the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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