I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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