I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
