her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
