Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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