so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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