i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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