Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i came on her dog
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
