Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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