Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
