Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
