now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
