xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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