if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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