I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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