cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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