I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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