we're blogging at a bar
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
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Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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