Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
