Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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