Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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