i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
