you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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