i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
