did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
