who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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