The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
