Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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