I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
50% drunk capacity currently
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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