You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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