Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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