It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
