ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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