you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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