I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize