Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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