This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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