i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
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It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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