I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
