you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
