if only i could text you this smell
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
