the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize