we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
