i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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