so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
how does that bad decision feel?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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