it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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