so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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