weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
