at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Operation Purity has been aborted
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
