The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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