I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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