A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
be right there i have to get my cape
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
