You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
