hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
