My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
